I wrote this last year and the sentiment still stands. I wanted to re-post with my current feelings. Many of the situations I described previously definitely apply to mamas, mamas-meant-to-be, and people that did or didn’t feel mothered or fathered.
AND- there are many feelings that I cannot relate to or imagine that you may be experiencing.
My point in writing this is to let you know that you are not alone. I don’t know a single person that doesn’t have some complicated feelings around this “holiday”. I think we need to let go of any expectation around Mother’s Day. Why is Mother’s Day hyped up more than Father’s Day? Is the fact that this made up holiday receives so much more attention than Father’s Day proof that dads may not be keeping up with moms? Or is it that dad’s are putting in just as much effort and are not being recognized for it?
Do you have strong feelings either way? Does Mother’s Day trigger sad, angry, or confused feelings for you? Do you wish holidays like this would cease to exist? Or should we celebrate even more holidays like this, such as “Best Friend’s Day”, “Dog Day” (this gets my vote), or “Delivery Person Day” (very important to the online shopper).
Whatever your feelings, I wish you restful and serene Sunday.
I love this quote:
“Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” -Oprah Winfrey
To all of you mamas and those that are filling the role of mother, I send you love.
Published May 8, 2021:
Mamas,
Mother’s Day is a holiday that’s wrapped up in so many complicated feelings. We love our babies (of course) and genuinely enjoy celebrating an incredibly meaningful role: Motherhood.
And yet.
Some of us are grieving the loss of our own mothers.
Some of us are mourning the loss of babies.
Some of us are sad that we have complicated relationships with our mothers, or none at all.
Some of us never had a mother at all.
Some of us are meant to be mothers and are unable to.
Some of us are overwhelmed by complicated family dynamics.
I’m writing this to you, mama, to tell you that you are not alone. We’re all feeling this way and struggling. It’s ok and we’re all normal! Feeling a mix of emotions on Mother’s day or even disliking the holiday doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
In my photography I get to photograph many mothers and I’m always blown away by their strength and love. We’re all doing the best we can.
I see you, mama. Take care of yourself the way you do your babies. Your heart deserves love and tenderness just as much as they do. You matter.
Love,
Vanessa
